I am not prone to angst-ridden tirades against inanimate objects.
Ok, maybe I am.
Regardless, few non-living things have incurred quite as much of my wrath as the vertical blind.
Vertical blinds are staples of apartment living. Omnipresent in multi-family dwellings all over America, vertical blinds are cheap and easily replaced – which is practical if you’re a landlord because all landlords believe that their tenants are also cheap and easily replaced.
I fucking hate vertical blinds.
Vertical blinds break too easily, get caught all askew too often, and are a menace to pets and small children alike.
And they just look shitty.
Fuck vertical blinds.
DISCLAIMER: No, I am not a black woman nor do I know the black woman pictured above. I took the photo from Thinkstock, a great place to find wonderful stock photography of black people…and sometimes white people too.
Karen
Jan 10, 2013 @ 22:04:08
The ones that were installed I our house when we bought were pink. PINK. Heinous in every conceivable way.
Robert Wagner
Jan 10, 2013 @ 22:08:43
I have no choice but to believe that your house used to be a rental or was at least owned by someone in the rental property business. After all, who else would do such a thing to a house? Obviously they had leftover pink blinds from an apartment house somewhere and decided to use them in their own home as a cost-cutting measure. This poor taste probably led to divorce and that’s why the home was put up for sale.
I just rewrote the history of your home.
I like my version, it’s the only version that can explain pink vertical blinds.
Everything else is a lie.